M.A.S.H. Comes To Life….

The president has declared that the Orlando shooting had nothing to do with islam, despite the shooter calling 9-11 to pledge his allegiance to ISIS.  The USAG has said they are still trying to determine the shooter's "true motivation" for his actions, but reiterates that it had nothing to do with islam despite the shooter's own words.

We are watching an episode of M.A.S.H. come to life before our eyes.  This is from the episode, The Novocaine Mutiny, in which Frank Burns tries to get Hawkeye courtmartialed:

Frank -  It has come to my attention that Sergeant Zale lost $300.

Hawkeye - Yeah.  So?

Frank - So that means that there's a thief around here.  Maybe more than one.

Hawkeye - Frank, Zale lost it gambling.

Frank - I beg your pardon?

BJ - Gambling, Frank.  He was playing poker with us.

Frank - Impossible. Gambling's prohibited.  There is no gambling in this unit.  Therefore the money was stolen.

BJ - Can't argue with that logic.

Hawkeye - I certainly wouldn't try.  My mother always said, "Never argue with crazy people and wear clean underwear in case you get run over by a tank and go to the hospital.

BJ - Wise woman.

Frank - Okay, you two clever Dicks.  I'm gonna conduct a search as only I can, and the culprit or culprits will be punished.

BJ - Frank, your sanity's sprung a leak.

Frank - We'll see.  When I find that money, you'll be laughing out the other side of your sleeve.

So here's how this plays out in today's news:

President - It has come to my attention that there was a shooting at a gay nightclub in Orlando.

Public - Yeah, that's what the news said.

President - Well, that means there's a shooter around there.  Certainly not part of a larger conspiracy.

Public - Mr. President, the shooter was a self-proclaimed muslim and pledged allegiance to ISIS.

President - I beg your pardon?

Public - Muslim, Mr. President.  The shooter said he was Muslim.

President - Impossible.  I have declared that there are no such things as muslim terrorists.  Muslim terrorists do not exist,  therefore, the shooter must have had some other motivation.

Public - Can't argue with that logic, won't even try.  My mother always quoted Proverbs 29:9, "If a wise man contendeth with a foolish man, whether he rage or laugh, there is no rest."  She was a wise woman.

President - Okay, you racist, intolerant right wingers.  I and my administration are gonna conduct a search as only we can, and the scapegoats we "discover" will be punished.

Public - Mr. President, your agenda is showing.

President - We'll see.  When I find my scapegoat, you'll be laughing out the other side of your sleeve.